


4 Times Crowley Cries (1 Time Aziraphale Cries)

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fire, First Kiss, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Holy Water, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Noah's Ark, Sharing a Bed, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 19:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20551718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67
Summary: So this was written as a gift for someone who helped me out when I was starving. Contact me on tumblr for more info at brokencasbutt67-writer or brokencasbutt67@gmail.com





	1. Chapter 1

Crowley is usually a very reserved demon, usually. She hides her emotions, keeps to herself more often than not, _it’s easier to get through the world unharmed that way_. The first time Aziraphale finds her crying, Crowley tries to hide it immediately but she knows that Aziraphale has seen the tears that are covering her cheeks, and the ones that remain unshed will be seen soon enough. They have both learnt of the Lord’s plan, the Great Flood to wipe every single human out. Aziraphale’s response to it was one that was expected. The angel doesn’t question her plan, though Crowley will never know if that’s from fear of the answer, or fear of the consequences. That’s why Aziraphale never will question her plan, only describing them as _ineffable._

When they had seen the animals being loaded, days before everyone would die, and Crowley heard that the _children would die,_ Crowley left and went back to her home. She hid away in the cellar with the wine caskets, a jug of wine in her hand and another beside her. She drank, and drank, and drank from the never - ending jugs. She couldn’t even think straight when the idea hit her brain. She could sneak a few of the children onto the ark, the ones who would be destined to otherwise do great things. That’s when Aziraphale arrived.

Crowley’s vision was blurred, her thoughts were jumbled and she didn’t know where she was. She saw the white of Aziraphale, that’s all she could see.

“Crawly, dear” Aziraphale murmured, moving to sit beside Crowley. The wine was taken away, the jug refilling, though it wasn’t known if Aziraphale or Crowley did that. Aziraphale rested is hand on Crowley’s shoulder, gently encouraging the demon to calm down. What he didn’t expect was for Crowley to have tears streaming down her cheeks into Aziraphale’s shoulder. The demon sobbed, crying hard for no one knows how long. Aziraphale stroked his fingers through Crowley's soft hair, the shudders that wracked the demon’s body barely calming down, in frequency and intensity.

Eventually, Crowley did calm down. Her face was soaked, eyes still filled with unshed tears, but having the angel by her side had made her feel so much better. The angel’s presence did that, he was able to calm anyone so easily.  
“Wh…what’s her plan, angel?” Crowley sighed.

“I do not know dear, I do not know” Aziraphale admitted. He looked down to where Crowley's legs were resting over his own. He’d always had a soft spot for the demon. Even back on the Garden Wall, he’d been surprisingly comforted by the demon’s presence. Now though, after so many years together, their dynamic is one that they wouldn’t change for anything else. Aziraphale loves how willing the demon is to show his…her…their weakness. Aziraphale loves how the demon is ever changing. Sure he loses track of the changes sometimes, he slips up but he’ll keep trying, so long as he can keep the demon by his side. He doesn’t show it that way though, that it’s a friendship, he shows it to the demon as a purely business based relationship. When he’s alone, in his own home, he can dream it to be any other type of relationship though, a friendly relationship. On particularly dark nights, when the angel feels so alone, he imagines a life with the demon being his lover. A life where their relationship wouldn’t have to be hidden, where the threat of their deaths wouldn’t exist.  
“Why the children?” Crowley asked, dragging Aziraphale before he fell to deep into his thoughts. Looking down, Aziraphale is stunned at the sight. She has tears streaming down her cheeks, silent sobs that weren’t unnoticed. Crowley didn’t bother to hide her tears now, instead, she continued to cry into the angel’s shoulder until the rains began. Aziraphale wasn’t entirely sure if the rains were God’s work, or Crowley’s tears.

* * *

Aziraphale knew Crowley was on the ark: he’d seen her entering, and leaving, several times in fact. The rains are hammering down now, the demon _must _be on board, otherwise she surely would be dead beneath the floods. The wood creaks beneath his bare feet as Aziraphale walked around. He could hear various animal calls; somewhere beneath that he could hear snoring. _Human snoring._ Angelic instincts found that sound and followed the sound. It led him downstairs, deep down. Below the animal cages to where there was only crates with food. The snoring was loud down here. With no one down here, Aziraphale wouldn’t be surprised if Crowley stayed here, in her true form.

He didn’t expect to see this though. Hidden away in a dark corner, where no one would think to look, there’s a small group of children. Five, maybe six, ranging in age from 3 months to 9 years old. Aziraphale recognises them all as children of the streets. That’s not what catches his attention though; it’s the black and red snake that’s wrapped around them all. A small smile graces Aziraphale’s face. The demon is snoring, the children are snoring, the boxes are sheltering them from the trouble that they could be in. A blanket appears in Aziraphale’s hand, soft and fluffy. He reaches down and lays it over the bodies. The snake shifts, head lifting and tongue poking out.

“Azsziraphale?” She hisses, while slithering away from the children.

“Yes, Crawly, it’s me” Aziraphale responds. Crawly smiles and transforms back to human as she climbs out of the pile of children. She sits on one of the boxes beside Aziraphale.

“I couldn’t let her kill them _all_” Crowley admitted. She tried to explain it away, but she wasn’t entirely certain that Aziraphale was upset.

“You do not need to explain yourself to me, dear” Aziraphale responded. Crowley smiled slightly, almost shy.

“If I knew you were doing this, I could’ve helped” Aziraphale said. With a wave of his hand, the children were all covered in their own blankets. Crowley smiled and looked to Aziraphale, slightly confused.

“Well, they’re here now. I gotta do a small miracle for them or there won’t be a balance” Aziraphale shrugged, a small smile on his face. The smile that covered Crowley’s face mirrored the one on Aziraphale’s face. Crowley and Aziraphale shift to sit side by side, cuddled close until eventually they’re laid on the floor, holding each other impossibly tightly as they sleep. Crowley knows now, deep in her heart, that not only is she in love with the angel, but that she’ll never be able to just _get over it_ like she wants to.


	2. Chapter 2

Aziraphale felt his heart sinking as he walked away from Crowley, and the tattered remains of the relationship he has held with his best friend for 6000 years. He wants to hold Crowley in his arms, protect him from Heaven and Hell and everything else. Crowley, he was already home. The furniture in his flat was bearing the full brunt of his anger. The plants shied away in fear, but he didn’t care. Cushions were torn, stuffing covering the floor. The door has a boot shaped hole in it and that is only the starting sign of his rage.

“_I have plenty of other people to fraternise with” Crowley had snapped. He saw the hurt in Aziraphale’s eyes as the angel snapped back a similar response.  
_“_I don’t need you” Crowley spoke, his voice filled with fake anger. He doesn’t need the angel, but he sure loves the angel, and he feels as though he’s going to die without the angel by his side. They parted ways on upset terms, and it killed Crowley._

They’re both in their homes, doing the same thing, though the angel is slightly less violent and more emotional. Crowley is laid in his bed, snuggled up with tears streaming down his cheeks. His heart is breaking in his chest. He sleeps for nearly all of the next century, only waking briefly to save Aziraphale from some Nazi’s in 1941. He didn’t ask what the angel did during that time, it would only hurt him more to hear of the angel’s escapades while he spent the time wallowing in depression, moping over the words that _he_ said. They parted ways, in the bombed remains of the church, with Crowley’s heart breaking while Aziraphale realised that he’s in love with the demon.

* * *

It doesn’t take long for Aziraphale to hear of Crowley’s plan to rob a church, all over some holy water. Aziraphale knows he needs to intervene. He knows that he can’t let Crowley do this, it could kill him over something that Aziraphale is able to get, even if unwilling to just hand it over. The next time they saw each other, Crowley was planning his heist. Aziraphale was waiting for him, outside of the bar where the plan was taking place. Crowley looked to the tartan flask in his hand, his heart breaking slightly. Aziraphale refused Crowley’s offer of going somewhere together.

“You go too fast for me Crowley” Aziraphale had said, after giving Crowley the tartan flask, filled with holy water and sealed with love, and deep set fear. Crowley’s heart broke when he watched Aziraphale walked away.

Crowley stared at the steering wheel for an unknown amount of time. He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice the time passing until the sun is beginning to rise. He drives back to his flat, taking a detour past the angel’s _stupid_book shop - the lights are off, _they_ _would be at 5am._

Laid on top of his bed in the middle of the next morning, Crowley stared at his ceiling.   
“6000 years… too fast” He mumbled. He glared at the _stupid _flask on his desk that led to all of this. The thought flew through his head that he could open it, drink it now and never have to deal with these emotions again. _Stupid human things, emotions, no purpose other than to_ _kill. _He can’t though, he made a promise to Aziraphale, and Crowley keeps his promises, no matter what.

Even if he dies of a broken heart, he will not open the tartan flask. A promise is a promise.


	3. Chapter 3

Anger radiates from Crowley when he can’t get an answer from the angel’s phone for the eight time he’s called. Tossing his phone aside, he goes out to the Bentley and speeds across London, vaguely aware of the overwhelming scent of the thick smoke that’s billowing high into the sky.

It’s not until he’s outside of the book shop that he realises why there was no answer from the angel. The book shop is filled with flames, destroying the books that the angel has worked so meticulously for, risking both of their lives along the way. Crowley runs in, snapping some snarky response to one of the fire fighters as he barges into the shop.

“Aziraphale!” He calls out, calling for his best friend. When there’s no answer, he explores more, all the while calling out for his angel. He calls out to Heaven; to Hell; to _someone;_ _everyone; anyone_ for an answer. _He can’t lose Aziraphale now or ever, regardless of what has happened in the past._

“Somebody killed my best friend” He cries, while he dropped to his knees in the burning book shop. He heard the shouts of the fire fighters outside. He doesn’t care. He’s lost his best friend, the love of his life…his reason for living.

“Bastards! All of you” He cries, making a promise to himself in the middle of the burning book shop; a promise to get revenge against Heaven: for doing this; for Hell: for doing this and against himself: for not getting here sooner, for his last interaction with the angel being one of anger and a short lived hatred. A revenge against himself for not getting the balls to tell the angel that he loves him sooner. He grabs the only book he can find that isn’t burnt, _The_ _Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch _before leaving, hoping that everything is just a bad dream.

When he gets home, he throws the book aside, throwing himself onto his bed. He doesn’t care to hide his tears, _who’s going to see?_

Hours pass in minutes as Crowley sobs, curled around a pillow in the hopes it would feel something like that time he hugged Aziraphale during the great flood. It doesn’t, it feels like a pillow. Nothing can replace the angel’s warmth, the calming presence he brings to the demon’s chaotic existence. His eyes fall to where he stores the holy water. He could. _I_ _promised Aziraphale. I can’t break that promise, even if I’ll never see him again._

Eventually Crowley leaves, he _needs_ to be drunk. He goes to a bar, finds a seat and orders himself a bottle of the _strongest, cheapest whatever_. “Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice fills Crowley’s ears.  
“Fuckin’ great” He slurs, mumbling.  
“Goin’ insane now too” He grumbles.  
“Crowley, can you hear me? It’s me, Aziraphale, I have a slight problem” Aziraphale says, using his power as best possible to make himself appear, even if only to the demon.  
“Angel, that really you?” Crowley slurs.  
“Yes, it is I” Aziraphale said.

* * *

It was a long time before Aziraphale was back in his human form, too long for Crowley, but they made it, together.

After they stopped Armageddon, and Aziraphale had nowhere to stay, he stayed at Crowley’s flat.

“I have to say, Crowley, when I found you in the bar, you appeared to be crying. Was everything okay?” Aziraphale asked, as they walked into the flat.  
“Who me? Yeah, wonderful!” Crowley responded, the sarcasm was there, but surprisingly well hidden.  
“Are you sure?” Aziraphale asked.  
“Yep” Crowley stated, not wanting his true emotions to show.  
“I just…I’d lost my best friend” Crowley said, while he hung his jacket on the hook.  
“Oh…I am sorry” Aziraphale apologised, trying to think who it could be that Crowley lost. The demon turned to face him.  
“For an angel, you really are stupid sometimes” He said, before moving to hug Aziraphale tightly. The angel tensed in his arms for a moment or two, before he hugged Crowley back, impossibly tightly.

They stood together, holding each other close for an impossibly long time before either can move. Aziraphale looks up to Crowley’s piercing gold eyes. He sees the tears, the fear that still fill them.

“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere” Aziraphale promised. Crowley nodded, falling into Aziraphale’s arms again, where he couldn’t help but sob long into the night.

Long after the sun had set, and the moon stood high, Crowley’s tears stopped. They move together, curling close under the soft, feather duvet. Crowley’s head rests on Aziraphale’s chest, his hand is holding onto the angel. Aziraphale watches Crowley sleep, stroking his fingers through Crowley’s auburn hair. The kiss that Aziraphale wanted to give to Crowley was hidden deep. _Not tonight. Tonight isn’t about me. It’s about calming Crowley’s fear._


	4. Chapter 4

Armageddon has been stopped, this time. They are free from their chains of their respective homes, for now and hopefully forever. The bookshop is still burnt down, for now anyway, but Adam is going to change it by tomorrow. But until then, they’re both living in Crowley’s flat and Aziraphale is having some long awaited realisations. He is sat on the edge of the grey bed while Crowley is changing out of his clothes.  
  
“Angel, are you just gonna sit there all night?” The demon asks. Aziraphale looks up, dragged from his thoughts. He flushes red, as though Crowley knows what he was thinking of.  
“Oh! No, sorry. I’m just thinking” Aziraphale admitted.  
“What about?” Crowley asked, sitting beside Aziraphale, in only his black, cotton underwear.   
“Something that’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve known it for a long time, I’ve kept it buried deep. I tried to hide it from myself. I thought She would find out, She would hurt me if She knew. But I now know, She doesn’t care, and neither do I” Aziraphale admitted, refusing to meet Crowley’s eyes.  
“What _are _you on about, angel?” Crowley asked.

“I’m in love, Crowley. I’ve been in love with you for longer than I care to admit” Aziraphale admitted, looking to the carpet.  
“Oh” Crowley’s voice was soft when Aziraphale heard it, he almost didn’t hear it, the demon was _that _quiet.  
“W-when did you realise?” Crowley asked, voice suddenly soft and timid. Aziraphale looked over, he saw a deep set fear in the demon’s eyes  
“I’ve been in love with you for 6000 years…I only realised in 1941” Aziraphale admitted. He looked to Crowley. Tears are streaming down the demon’s cheeks.

“Wh-why didn’t - ngk - fuck” Crowley stuttered and stumbled, his voice shaky, filled with unshed tears and sobs. Aziraphale shifted and wrapped his arm around Crowley’s shaking form, the demon’s head resting on his shoulder. Aziraphale felt the tears staining through his coat, but he didn’t question anything. He knew it’d been a long day for them both, and it wasn’t going to get easier any time soon. What he doesn’t know is just how long it’s been for the demon. 6000 years of their friendship has passed in the past half of the hour.  
“I love you too, yo-you stupid angel. 6000 years I’ve loved you” Crowley sobbed. Aziraphale leant down and pressed his lips against the top of Crowley’s head.  
“I’m here now, I’m here to stay” He promised. Crowley couldn’t say anything. The voice in his head was louder than the rational thoughts. Before he could voice his fears, his insecurities, the angel had cupped his cheeks.  
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, hurt us. Not now, not ever” He promised. Crowley smiled slightly, and then, with a shaky movement, they moved closer. Their lips pressed together in a hesitant, nervous kiss. Crowley was the one to separate, he looked to Aziraphale, the fear was still evident in his eyes.

“I trust you” Aziraphale promised, as though he could read the fears in Crowley’s mind. Crowley nodded, prompting the angel to kiss him again. This kiss was a softer, yet more passionate kiss. 6000 Years of love broke through a dam, flooding the kiss.  
Eventually, they climbed into the bed together, holding each other in a tight embrace. Outside of the unassuming block of flats, it’s chaos. But inside, where a demon and an angel are curled together, sharing warmth, everything is calm. They have the rest of time to smooth out any of their relationship issues.


	5. Chapter 5

Crowley walked into the bookshop, locking the door behind herself. She made her way to where Aziraphale is sat behind the desk, so deep in whatever new book he has that he hasn’t noticed the demon.

“Aziraphale” Crowley said, leaning against the desk.  
“Hello dear” Aziraphale mumbled, not taking his focus from his book. Crowley chuckled slightly, she reached over and picked up Aziraphale’s bookmark. Sliding it into the book, she closed the book, taking it from Aziraphale’s hands and resting it on the counter. “Okay dear, you have my full attention” Aziraphale smiled, looking up to his girlfriend.  
“I have something to show you” Crowley smiled, while removing her sunglasses. Aziraphale looked up to Crowley.  
“What is it, my dear?” He asked. Crowley held her hand out for Aziraphale, who took it and followed Crowley up the stairs. Immediately, Crowley removed her jacket, leaving it on the stairs. Next, Crowley’s hands fell to her scarf as she turned to face Aziraphale, wrapping is over his neck, using it to pull the angel close and kiss him gently. Aziraphale flushed red slightly as he moved to sit on the bed.  
“No, I’m not gonna strip for you, I do actually have something to show you” Crowley chuckled, unbuttoning her shirt.

It fell from her shoulders, ungracefully falling to the floor. She didn’t miss the way Aziraphale’s eyes lit up at the lack of bra being worn. Turning around, Crowley took a deep breath, slightly fearful of Aziraphale’s response to the film covering her back, and what lies beneath. She shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, Aziraphale’s legs around her own. Soft fingers press against the film, tracing each line, the soft shading that covers the otherwise tanned skin.  
“This is beautiful, Crowley” Aziraphale murmured, his voice was shaky with the threat of tears. Following the Armageddon that wasn’t, both of their wings had begun changing. Aziraphale’s are becoming grey, black even at the end feathers while Crowley’s are becoming lighter, cream and white feathers spotted throughout the black. They look like, well…this. Aziraphale looks over the ink stained skin, falling onto the thin line of where the wings in the tattoo attach to Crowley’s shoulder blades. A nervous chuckle from Crowley fills the room  
“So, whaddya think?” She asks, breaking the silence.  
“I love it, it’s beautiful” Aziraphale murmurs, still trailing the lines with his fingers. He’s enamoured by it. A smile graced Crowley’s face, though it went when he heard snivelling from Aziraphale. Turning around, he was surprised to find tears streaming down the angel’s cheeks.

“Angel?” She asked, reaching up to cup Aziraphale’s cheek.  
“I love you” Aziraphale admitted, falling into Crowley’s arms. Crowley brushed his fingers up and down Aziraphale’s back, trying to calm the angel.  
“I can’t believe what we’ve done…the risk we’ve taken” Aziraphale admitted.  
“I’d do it all again, so long as you’re by my side” Crowley said softly, holding Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale smiled slightly, though tear tracks still lined his cheeks. “You would?” He asked, voice almost a whisper.  
“I would. For you, I’d do anything” Crowley promised. Aziraphale smiled slightly, kissing Crowley’s cheek.

“Can I have another look?” He asked, voice soft. Crowley smiled and nodded, turning around to allow Aziraphale to see her back again.  
“It’s beautiful” Aziraphale murmured. He stroked his fingers over it, briefly reaching forward to press a gentle kiss to Crowley’s skin, at the top of her spine.  
“Like you are” he added. Crowley smiled and reached back to hold Aziraphale’s hand. The tears in Aziraphale’s eyes dried, they went away for another day.


End file.
